It takes time to get used to a new pair of glasses.
There I was, sitting in the same place as I had been when I wrote “Can You Be Still?”, but during the day. My feet were up, toes exposed to the breeze, elevated on a chair. It’s crazy to think that just over 4 months ago, I couldn’t even put my feet up without using my other foot to raise it up. #wowza #progress
I reflected on the last 4.5 months I’d been home. I came to realize that summer came and gone. Although a short time, it was enough to make an impact in the lives of those around me, and they to me; I believe I’ve become a better version of myself.
Bear with me as I share some defining moments from the summer 🙂
- Getting through 4 exams in a row, one day after the next. Having to drive over with my uncle and aunt to write my last one, nearly 1 month after surgery.
- Making it through my first physiotherapy session
- Exercising daily just to get my knee to bend and bear weight again.
Wow, that’s a lot, eh? But how could I have remembered all of that? Those fine details, those events, experiences, and moments – why do they matter?
Because they make me, me. They define part of my life that makes me who I am right now as I write this at the end of September.
I call them Defining Moments because they were moments that showed me the value of life.
“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog – it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” – James 4:14, NLT
So on August 12, I had attended my first General Youth Conference. I didn’t know what to expect, other than the fact that a lot of my friends were going to be there, and I was going to be blessed. Little did I know, God had something else planned.
That sabbath morning, the speaker had shared the impact published literature has made in the people closest to him, as well as strangers. He shared the value of surrendering one’s life to Christ through Abraham’s story. Abraham didn’t get the idea to sacrifice his son from himself, it was from God. Why was Abraham willing to give up his son? Because God told him to. Lord, give me a willing heart to accept your call for my life.
I journalled as he spoke: Lord, what do you mean by “let go”? I cannot allow my own thoughts dictate how I will live my life. Where in the field of child and youth do you want me? Is starting a ministry worth it? We’ve argued and I’ve been stubborn to listening.
He continued by asking, “What does God know about you? The answer is – everything. Psalm 139
It was then that I knew I had to start living my life differently. With MORE intention, MORE purpose, MORE guidance, MORE trust in my Father.
The speaker had made an appeal, asking people who know they don”t want to live by the world’s standard, but by God’s. Calling for people not to worry about the standard, but worry more about the surrender. That was the morning I rededicated my life to Christ. I mean, I’ve stood up and walked forward to the stage for several appeals in the past, but it wasn’t until this weekend that God had confirmed that it was time to fully rededicate my life to Him. I was drowning in tears, glasses were fogging up, and my nose got stuffy. How gross.
Friends, after the speaker prayed, I felt like I could see the world a whole new way. I opened my eyes, still a little teary, but more confident. I decided to see the world with intentionality and purpose. I choose to see the world how my Father would want me to see it: with compassion, care, discernment, and love.
So now I ask myself — Why did God create me? What am I supposed to do on earth while I’m here? Is my life really a testimony?
“…we were meant to show others a bit of who God is, to share and display the love we’ve experienced with Him.” – Marshall Segal, Not Yet Married
I came back to my first love – God.
The summer was over, school was starting, and there I was. Driving back to my student house with mixed emotions. This is it God. One more year, by Your grace. Let’s do this!
I share this story because reflection is so important. Looking back and learning is something I truly cherish. Can’t say I’m perfect, heck, no one is perfect, but I can say I’m blessed. We learn from each other because we choose to. We’re blessed with people in our lives because we can’t “do life” on our own. No really, we can’t.
That being said, I pray this post made you think a little more about how far you’ve come and where you’re headed. Look back and know that God is taking care of you. He knows your needs (Matt 6:8),
the Holy Spirit speaks for you when you can’t come up with words to pray (Rom 8:26, 27). Maybe you’re still questioning if God exists, or your doubting yourself because you feel like your faith “isn’t enough”. It’s okay. No really, it is. The slightest bit of faith you have is enough to move mountains. Legit. (Matt 17:20).
Are you ready to have new frames?