Joy of the Lord

The thought that resonated with me throughout the week has been, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.”

Thanksgiving weekend started off with praise team practice, followed by a humbling and moving worship service with my church. Last Friday marked 1 year since I had also been a part of the worship team for Thanksgiving. It got me reflecting, as Thanksgiving usually does.

One year ago, I was dating a complete stranger;
One year ago, I was discovering what it was like to be a part of a new church community.
One year ago, I was so sure of the direction life was taking me;
One year ago, I was confident in the direction of my dog’s training progress.
One year ago, I had a solid workout routine and was eating well;
One year ago, I was moving forward with confidence.

One year later, 3 dating relationships amounted to nothing;
One year later, I find myself pouring into various avenues at church.
One year later, I’m not so sure where God is leading me;
One year later, I’m wondering if all the time and energy for dog training was worth it.
One year later, my workout and eating routine is inconsistent and careless;
One year later, it seems like I’m barely moving forward.

*sigh*

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage, for the Lord Your God is with you wherever you go!” – Joshua 1:9

I can admit, that this year has been a true year of healing. Healing of what I’d been avoiding healing from through the years. Heartbreak, generational trauma that was never dealt with, trailblazing relationships at work, pushing through the current – it has been tough. I look in the mirror and I barely recognize myself anymore. Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? (Yes I used the song as a reference… but are we surprised? LOL).

I barely recognize who I am anymore. Trying to fit a mold that I thought was set out for me, one that I had to honour and fulfill to make everyone around me proud. Making people happy is my thing, but why do I still feel unfulfilled? I’ve done all I had to, I’ve dotted all of my i’s and crossed all of my t’s… why does it still feel like something is missing?

The song, “Gratitude” by Brandon Lake, was sung last Thanksgiving, and it was sung again this year at church. It meant different last year than it did this year. Last year it meant that I was grateful for all of the good things, and opportunities that God brought into my life, there was much to be grateful for. This year it felt like all I really had was that “hallelujah” as the song says,

“So I throw up my hands and praise You again and again. ‘Cause all that I have is a hallelujah, hallelujah. I know it’s not much but I’ve nothing else fit for a King except for a heart singing, hallelujah, hallelujah.”

Looking out into the congregation last year, I can barely remember. I would say I was running on adrenaline and praise over how grateful I was for all that God had given and done for me. This year, I found myself scanning the congregation and admiring how genuine the worship experience was. Some had their hands raised, some had their eyes closed, some seated while some stood up waving their hands back and forth. I could not help the tears streaming down my face that Sabbath. I legit had nothing BUT a hallelujah.

Hallelujah for giving me life.
Hallelujah for giving me courage to fight the trauma and hurt.
Hallelujah for giving me the desire to seek Him first, still.
Hallelujah for giving me strength to face the difficult people and situations in my life.
Hallelujah for blessing me with the people and opportunities that are coming.
Hallelujah for it all.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from Me, or seen in Me – put that into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” – Philippians 4:8-9

It’s intentional how God brings important, loving and caring people to me when I least expect it, yet need it the most. These two verses were sent to me by two of my prayer warrior girlfriends and sisters I can’t imagine life with. (You both know who you are. ❤ ). To top if off, when my best friend sent me “breathing prayers”, something I had shared on my Instagram during the pandemic when you inhale and exhale parts of scripture to help ease the anxiety and worry. Inhale, “The Lord is my Shepherd”, exhale, “I shall not want…” (Psalm 23, 1). The joy of the Lord is truly my strength.

Sometimes all it takes is a simple song lyric, a message from a friend, or a worship space… to remind me that the joy of the Lord is my strength. Not the relationship I have, not how proud I can make my family, not how many shoutouts I get at work, and the list can continue. It truly is simple and evident once I choose to shut out the noise.

True joy is found in the Lord. In His love, His mercy, His patience… where would I be if it weren’t for the reminder of the truest source of joy – the loving arms of my Heavenly Father who keeps running back to me after every tear that falls.

May we find joy in the presence of God in each day He blesses us with breath in our lungs.

Much love,

— LifeisaBeaut ❤